Breeze drifting on by, you know how I feel...

Every now and again I look up and don't know how I got here.
Seriously,  I live in Florida, I knit, and I have hideous couches. Who is this person!
Yet, despite things not turning out quite how I planned them from my beanbag chair in my childhood bedroom, I am mindlessly happy. I am nearly never cold in the Sunshine State, I discovered that I love knitting, and I get to cozy up to the love of my life on our ugly couch. It amazes me how all this happened.
I've had a whole spectrum of "plans" since about the time I was four. The simplest goal was to forego tertiary education and become an awesome florist in my hometown, fortunately for Ben, that wasn't my path. The most extravagant of my dreams (behind becoming an elite athlete) was to become a forensic pathologist, fortunately I didn't pursue that since it turns out that I don't really care for microbiology.
Somewhere I moved beyond my spectrum of ideas and, as a freshwoman in college, settled on becoming a missionary/nurse.
Unbeknown to me, being a missionary/nurse isn't (to my knowledge) actually on my path, rather, as a senior in college, I got the "call" to be a midwife. The majority of women who are midwives know what I mean, and anyone else who senses the undeniable certainty of their life's work also understands. For the rest of you, you are free to pass judgement of the validity of a "call". Regardless, the journey of my life has led me to pursue midwifery, and I love it!
I have learned and experienced so much in the past few months that I cant possible formulate my thoughts well enough to write it all down. Along with basic skills like blood pressures, fundal height, fetal heart tones, IM injections and blood draws, I am beginning to learn how to think like a midwife, to know what the different sounds and expressions a woman makes mean, I am beginning to see that there is a huge amount to personal sacrifice involved with being a midwife, but it is also obvious that the rewards are greater. I am so privileged to be learning this by shadowing and assisting an incredible midwife (and mother of six!). I hope that during the course of another year, I will see myself beginning to blossom into a midwife...

Every now and again I look up and don't know how I got here...

Then I realize, it wasn't me, it's never been me.
It has all been God.


Birds flying high, You know how I feel
Sun in the sky, You know how I feel
Breeze driftin' on by, You know how I feel
It's a new dawn
It's a new day
It's a new life
For me
And I'm feeling good